![]() ![]() They reply, “What the heck?” It cuts you to the core. When you receive a recording from one of the sproglets singing an elaborate rendition of the word “poo” to you on WhatsApp, and you notice the similarity between that, and the tune of an obscure Eighties number one, which you promptly send back to them, with the explanation, “Same melody”.When one of your grandchildren shouts out “Grandad!” to you loudly for the first time in a public place, and you’re wearing really good threads, but you can see that everyone in the locale is thinking about how old you are, and you have to keep nudging the child, and saying “it’s Glamfather, actually”, before finally whispering in their ear, “Actually, why don't you call me Simon?”.When it’s your football-obsessed grandchild who falls asleep after an hour of playing football with you in the park, and you can still send a picture of him to his dad and say, “This boy’s shattered after playing a football match against a top London player.”.Note to Simon: put off that first loss to little Taro singing Hungry Like the Wolf as long as possible. And because it makes up for losing 20 times in a row when you’re both singing One Direction’s Live While We’re Young, which frankly seems like a veiled insult before the music even starts playing. ![]()
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